在大多數人的認知中，創傷的痊癒令人渴望：傳統的精神分析認為，若失去了愛的對象之後能夠妥善哀悼，便能會到「正常」生活；若是拒絕承認失去，便會陷入「憂鬱」。這也就是佛洛伊德（Sigmund Freud）經典論文〈憂鬱與哀悼〉中的論點。然而，若順著這條思路，我們能否把憂鬱當成對「失去」的不斷檢驗，也就是一種審視自己過去的「狀態」，而非疾病？

她叫伊莉莎白 ‧ 馬汀 ‧ 格雷，但大家都叫她碧茲，她已經不斷失眠好一陣子，碧茲的父親在十年前去世，但碧茲仍不斷看見父親、聽他講故事，過著父親逝世之前的生活。當然，在與媽媽或是摯友葛蕾絲相處時，她不會講出這些秘密會面。然而，碧茲與葛蕾絲某日卻不小心捲入麻煩，導致好友被退學，而她的精神狀況則持續惡化，彷彿努力營造出來的一片寧靜，被投了顆巨石。當這種「正常生活」的營造似乎不再可行，但是否有正常之外的出路，讓碧茲能夠再次撿拾自己破碎的心？

"Profoundly moving . . . Will take your breath away." --Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces

"Give this to all your friends immediately . . . It tackles mental health, depression, sexual identity, and anxiety with beauty and empathy." --Cosmopolitan.com

A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year
A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best of the Year

Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. She has her friends, her mom, the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything--not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And not about seeing her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven.

But after what happens on the beach, the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Her dad disappears and, with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Debut author Helena Fox tells a story about love, grief, and inter-generational mental illness, exploring the hard and beautiful places loss can take us, and honoring those who hold us tightly when the current wants to tug us out to sea.